In which Kirby whines more about his team not being a CFP lock, because when is he ever not doing that
(Author’s note: I’m aware that the site’s convention is to refer to the program out east with a different phrasing, but I’m an old Technique hand and old habits die hard.)
Join us at From the Rumble Seat in… well, not giving thanks, but at least acknowledging the individuals who have been so very instrumental in making U[sic]GA’s 2024 football program everything that it is.
All acknowledgement must, of course, begin at the very top with the man himself. Kirby Smart has brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to his new empire by taking a firm stance against his players’ indiscretions and calling them out in public where necessary. We need not look any further than their recent 28-10 loss to Ole Miss, after which Smart chided one of his defensive players—saying “what an idiot” in his press conference—for the grave crime of being excited to see friends on the field after the game.
Next up, we can turn our attention to a group of people whom Smart has never said anything mean about in public: the 22 (twenty-two) members of the football program who have been cited for some mix of speeding, racing, reckless driving, or DUI charges over the past 22 months, pretty much all of whose punishments were “handled internally.” That 22-month period began after the high-profile racing incident that resulted in the death of a U[sic]GA football player and athletic staffer. It seems SEC Speed (TM) is eternal.
No discussion about U[sic]GA players’ off-field adventures would be fair without their law enforcement liaison present. Fortunately, they have a seasoned veteran in that role who’s been directly and curiously involved in recent incidents and has been helping the team navigate its legal troubles for almost a full decade.
Anyway, this is all moot, because members of the state government have previously passed legislation to limit public visibility into publicly funded programs while openly stating that they hoped the rules changes would bring U[sic]GA a national championship.
Discussions of this year’s on-field play have to start with the man under center, Carson Beck. The supposed rising star QB, touted as a potential #1 overall pick in the 2025 draft, has 23 touchdown passes against 12 interceptions this year. But since we’re evaluating his NFL potential, let’s look at what happens if we take out his stats against Tennessee Tech and UMass and—oh dear it’s now 14 TD against 12 INT.
Even though he has “all the tools” or whatever turn of phrase is used to describe how far he can throw a football, it turns out that not having his security blanket—in the form of the best tight end in the country and a very good wideout (even if the latter still makes me sigh at the fact that someone named Ladd McConkey was Actually Good)—has exposed Beck’s true quarterback abilities. This shouldn’t be the case for any Athens quarterback, considering U[sic]GA just replaced those two guys with fresh five-star recruits like they always do… but nevertheless, we’re seeing plenty of flashes of the real Beck, a player who seems to bounce between terrific and terribad with every third pass.
All isn’t bad in Carson Beck’s world, though. He got to celebrate the team’s big win over Auburn with an on-field photoshoot with his influencer girlfriend. That’s the sort of thing worth celebrating: beating a team that even Cal dusted with ease earlier this year. (Although if it brings Hugh Freeze one step closer to being fired, it may count as a public service.)
Rolling into the season finale with two losses but also two top-10 wins, it’s practically beyond question that U[sic]GA will end up in the 12-team playoff at season’s end. That hasn’t stopped Kirby Smart from making the public case for U[sic]GA to do a thing that everyone knows they’re going to do. They could end up with four losses and they’d still end up in the playoff somehow. We’re already talking about it with Alabama, so why not talk about it with Alabama with a white base coat?
Eternal insecurity is the local trademark, after all. The team that finally got over the hump and has two of the past three national titles still needs everyone to know that they are expected to fail. It could be Kirby Smart saying “nobody believed in us” after they won a game between top-10 teams. It could be Nolan Smith saying “they said we would go 7-5” after the team finished off its second straight national title run by winning a game by 58 points. It could be their fans lamenting the future of a dying sport in which they’re one of the few programs that will thrive no matter what form its future takes while most of our teams gradually fall victim to all-consuming TV network greed. It doesn’t matter. They’ll keep whining and expect the rest of us to show sympathy that they never, ever deserve.
So, in summation:
To hell with Georgia—the cesspool of the South.