In which I workshop a screenplay for the next summer blockbuster.
I don’t think my heart rate has recovered.
Game Recap in Three Sentences
We couldn’t get much going through the air, but the ground game more than made up for it with 371 rushing yards and all five TDs.
The defense was solid in the first half but fell apart in the second half and nearly cost us the game before putting together a goal line stand to hold UNC to the tying FG.
The fourth quarter was complete madness; both teams made multiple mistakes before Jamal Haynes finally ended it.
Above The Line of the Week
- Jamal Haynes. 170 yards, 2 TDs, and a game-winner we’ll still be talking about a year from now. He has been dominant since a full return from injury and yet it still feels like he has more.
- Turnovers. We finally generated some, and good thing too because we wouldn’t have won this game without those fumbles (thank you Nate McCollum).
- Our win total, literally. Several markets offered us at 4.5, a mark we’ve now eclipsed in game seven. Other markets had us at 5, and I think it’s reasonable to think we’ll eclipse that as well.
Unformed Thought of the Week
Has Haynes King been injured? Obviously he got hurt late against UNC and came out, but that’s two straight games now where something about him has looked…off. He can’t seem to hit anything beyond 10 yards even though we saw him hit plenty of deep balls last year. Much has been made of his high completion rate this season, but the play-calling is clearly restricting him to a lot of short, easy passes and leaning heavily on the ground game. He’s still dangerous with his legs, however I feel like on several of his runs he seems a bit panicked and rushed. Maybe I’m reading too far into it.
5 Star (7 Star, 5 Star) Developmental Program Haiku of the Week
My heart can’t take it
I need to sit in quiet
Jamal Haynes, hero
The Shoeshank Redemption
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EXT. KENAN MEMORIAL STADIUM – DAY
Open on North Carolina players celebrating a recent FG. Zoom out to show the scoreboard which reads “North Carolina: 34 Georgia Tech: 34”. Pan down to the clock which reads “00:44 4Q”. The stadium is somewhat empty.
CUT TO: Two North Carolina coaches standing on the sideline and watching the ensuing kickoff.
MACK BROWN
We just gotta hold ’em for 44 more seconds! I feel good about our overtime chances; that team looks like burnt toast. Hooo boy, ol’ Mack Attack is back baby! I was born for the ACC!
GEOFF COLLINS
Coach, did I ever tell you about the last time I ate at an Atlanta Waffle House? I used to go every day when I coached there, but this was a few months ago when I went back on a vacation.
MACK BROWN
What? I don’t care about that right now, we’re comin’ to the end of this here football game! You’re gonna stop ’em right?
GEOFF COLLINS
Obviously I had to sneak in with a disguise and all since everyone here hates me for some reason. I found a flannel shirt and some jeans that weren’t skinny, plus some (shudders a little bit) plain New Balance dad shoes. Even threw on a logo-less hat like they do in the movies. I was real careful too, signed my name J E F F to throw ’em off the scent, just in case.
(winks)
MACK BROWN
(squints his eyes, cocks his head to the side)
Son, I don’t give a rat’s be-hind where you ate breakfast or what you were wearing! Your defense has given up over 300 yards rushing so far and I don’t want to see those Yellow Jacket boys drive down the field for a game-winning kick. Now tell me what your defensive plan is!
SMASH CUT TO: The GEORGIA TECH team gains 7 yards on first down with a passing play.
GEOFF COLLINS
Ah darn, that guy can throw the ball? It’s so unfair that teams keep doin‘ new stuff all the time.
(into walkie talkie)
Call the mayhem play! The mayhem play!
As GEOFF COLLINS lifts his finger off the walkie talkie, an unseen coach can be barely heard through static on the other end.
UNKNOWN COACH
Does he still think that’s a real play? Jesus this guy…
MACK BROWN
(mumbling)
I swear I need to retire, I don’t understand this younger generation of coaches.
Just then, a phone notification dings. GEOFF COLLINS pulls his phone out of his pocket, looks at the screen, and fist pumps.
MACK BROWN
(bewildered)
Son, are you really on your mobile device right now? We got a game to win!
Zoom in on the phone screen. It shows the “Got ‘Em” notification from the Nike SNKRS app.
GEOFF COLLINS
Awesome! I just got the new Air Jordans I’ve been eyeing! They even match my cool hoodie vest I’m always wearing! I’m gonna look so good on the sideline when you retire before the end of the season and I’m named interim.
A loud groan suddenly rises from the small crowd.
CUT TO: The Jumbotron shows the last few yards of a long rushing touchdown by the GEORGIA TECH running back JAMAL HAYNES (#11). Pan to the scoreboard which now reads “North Carolina: 34 Georgia Tech: 40”.
GEOFF COLLINS looks up, confused.
GEOFF COLLINS
What happened? Did overtime start already?
MACK BROWN
(face has become red, the rage evident in his bulging veins)
I…What? What are you… We just…he just…68 yard rush…Coach your defense just lost us this game!
GEOFF COLLINS
Yeah that’s a pretty good team over there, maybe one of the best ever. Did ya know I recruited some of ’em? Ha, I bet you wish I had actually cut that running back Haynes right now though don’t ya?
MACK BROWN stares at GEOFF COLLINS, too angry to even speak.
GEOFF COLLINS
Oh well, at least our defense looked pretty good, right? Have I told you that everyone calls me the Minister of Mayhem? Some people say I just made that name up myself and asked people to start calling me by it, but that’s totally not what happened.
MACK BROWN
(face is now purple)
PRETTY GOOD? You think that defense was PRETTY GOOD? You gave up almost 400 yards rushing! They ran for nearly eight yards a carry! You said after the JMU game that you were improving!
GEOFF COLLINS
Well Coach, with all due respect, if you can’t see improvement then you’re just not looking.
MACK BROWN stares open-mouthed at GEOFF COLLINS.
GEOFF COLLINS
(smirking, mostly talking to himself now)
Man, I’m gonna look so good in those new shoes!
(for the record I spent forever doing actual screenplay formatting in Google Docs and it looked good but apparently our CMS doesn’t let you do anything like that so I did the best I could here with some HTML)
Look Ahead
Up next is Notre Dame (10/19, 3:30pm). The Irish have soundly beaten several good opponents but the loss to NIU is an ugly blemish on their schedule. Still, this is probably the best defense we’ll play all year. The saving grace is that run defense isn’t their strong suit – if we’re to have any chance in this one we need to put in another dominant rushing performance. This will be extra true if we are indeed without Haynes King. I’m not expecting to come away with a win but I would like to see a more complete and competent showing than we got this past weekend.