After a brief respite, we are pleased to once again bring you the SEC in a Sentence, in which we take a hypersonic spin around the weird, wild world of the Southeastern Conference then set that sucker back down on the runway without spilling your complimentary peanuts. Let’s dive in.
Alabama: Alabama fans were once mad that Kalen DeBoer coaches in a teeshirt and if I were him I would probably show up to the Iron Bowl in a tux, tails and top hat just in case.
Arkansas: Sam Pittman has the Hawgs bowl-eligible for the fourth time in five years and if Arkansas fans don’t think that’s success in Fayetteville they’re deluding themselves.
Auburn: The Tigers come into the Iron Bowl at 5-6 needing to beat a downtrodden Alabama for bowl eligibility and I absolutely cannot wait.
Florida: I hate seeing Billy Napier build some momentum, but I have to respect it.
Georgia: Yup, we’re gonna play in the SEC Championship Game for a shot at a first round playoff bye just like we all expected, yup, that’s been the plan all along…..
Kentucky: About the best thing you can say about this 4-7 season of Wildcat football is that it will be over shortly.
LSU: Hey, remember when Tiger fans’ biggest worry was that stupid imposter mascot?
Mississippi State: It is now time for one of our favorite holiday traditions: Mississippi State marshalling a season’s worth of frustration in order to turn the Egg Bowl into a shambolic nightmare for Ole Miss.
Missouri: In an ever-changing world it’s comforting to know that we can still count on Missouri finishing 8-4 and then winning a mid-tier bowl game to start the circle of life all over again.
Oklahoma: I hope whoever called that moving truck to Brent Venables’ house can get a refund on their deposit.
Ole Miss: If you need Lane Kiffin he’ll be in his room doing yoga to The Sound of Silence and not taking calls from Ole Miss boosters.
South Carolina: Shane Beamer has gone from squeaking out a season-opening win over Old Dominion to a chance to beat Clemson and finish 9-3 and I can’t help but be a little happy about his glow up.
Tennessee: The Volunteers are not conclusively out of the playoff discussion which is a shame because they absolutely should be.
Texas: This sentence comes in image form:
This is a man who knows he’s one loss to Texas A&M away from needing to upgrade his home security system. https://t.co/TXHn7hItcW
— Dawg Sports (@dawgsports) November 22, 2024
Texas A&M: A night time trip to Auburn is like a night time jaunt through a cow pasture, except what you slip in and have to hose off yourself is pure chaos.
Vanderbilt: The Commodores get Tennessee in the friendly confines of their home construction site with a chance to absolutely ruin the Vols’ season and I’m more excited about it than I am Grandma’s homemade sweet potato pie.
Go ‘Dawgs!!!