ESPN provides 4 trade proposals for Falcons QB Kirk Cousins

Let’s make a deal, or at least imagine a few.

The media gods have selected the Atlanta Falcons as the team to pump for summer news. The Michael Penix Jr. pumping is much appreciated, but it’s the players fans seem to have the lowest outlook on that are getting all the attention.

Kirk Cousins finds himself in the middle of more offseason drama, which is kind of his MO. Analysts and fans are drooling over the opportunity to talk about a geriatric quarterback going for a Day 3 pick, so much so that ESPN proposed four trades that will ship the veteran out and guarantee a Super Bowl for the Falcons.

With that being said, let’s make (an imaginary) deal!

Jeremy Fowler’s offer:

• Falcons get: QB Kenny Pickett, 2026 sixth-round pick, cash considerations
• Browns get: Kirk Cousins, 2026 seventh-round pick

Anytime you can add a Super Bowl-winning quarterback to the roster, you get it done. In this scenario, the Falcons add the smallest hands in the league, Kenny Pickett. This will help establish natural dominance in the room once Penix’s combine-record top-10 mitts swallow those Cabbage Patch Kid hands.

On top of that, the Falcons get a sixth-round pick and $20M in cash after fronting $17.5M to move Cousins. The Cleveland Browns would love to add another QB to their stable because if you have two starting quarterbacks, you have none, but if you have four starting quarterbacks, you have two. It’s simple calculus, dear reader.

Dan Graziano’s offer:

• Falcons get: 2026 fifth-round pick, 2027 seventh-round pick and cash considerations
• Vikings get: Kirk Cousins

Sometimes, you’ve got to leave home to understand what you had, and Cousins learned that the hard way. This trade reunites the vet with the coach who has gotten the most out of the quarterback. A 2026 and 2027 Day 3 pick is on the table (plus $10M in cash), but the team should see if they can squeeze a 2029 fourth-round pick while they’re at it.

A Minnesota Vikings reunion doesn’t make much sense, but that’s what makes this trade genius; no one would see it coming. While the league is asleep at the wheel, Fontenot could turn Cousins into a king’s ransom.

Ben Solak’s offer:

• Falcons get: 2026 sixth-round draft pick (can become a fifth-rounder with performance conditions)
• Steelers get: Cousins, cash considerations

I had high expectations for the top nerd [complimentary] at ESPN, and Solak didn’t disappoint. The Falcons give up Cousins and a lot of money in the process ($20M or more) for a conditional fifth-round pick. Here’s why I love this move:

Cousins can’t move off his spot or run play action at a high level, and that’s precisely what Arthur Smith would ask of him. Solak, you sly dog, you can’t fool me with this Trojan horse, but you will most certainly fool the likes of Arthur Smith.

Seth Walder’s offer:

• Falcons get: QB Sam Howell, cash considerations
• Vikings get: Cousins

We’re back to trying to repair this divorce to see if KOC and Cousins can agree on a co-parenting model for the sake of J.J. McCarthy—DO IT FOR THE KIDS. Walder does not offer any picks in this trade, but he does provide the opportunity to increase vibes. Enter Sam Howell and a bucket with $12M cash. Howell and Penix would go together like Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr.

The imagery of Zac Robinson hyperventilating as the two laugh off the dangerous/unadvised throws they’re taking has me fired up. By day three of training camp, the kids would be pulling off the equivalent of Call of Duty 360 no-scopes, bringing Kyle Pitts’ engagement levels to an all-time high. Content aggregators would pass out from overstimulation.

Could one of these trades happen? Theoretically, yes. Could all of them happen? Scientists say no. The saga continues as we await Sundays in the fall.